Tuesday, June 17, 2008

And Justice For All...


Warning. The following story is long but it is really a funny story.
At least to me it was.
This is a story that began over a year ago... As I was opening my mail one day I noticed that I had gotten a subpoena. I had never seen such a detailed court document. It had the defendants name listed and also the trial date. I was to call a phone number the night before the listed court date to see if the case had been cancelled. Well as the date came I called. And it had been cancelled, my appearance was not necessary. Four months later I received another subpoena in the exact said case. I began to think maybe I had something to do with this. I looked at the name again. No, it didn't ring a bell. I've heard of some sort of court orientation that you must attend but I didn't get any such notification. So I called the attorney listed and talked with him personally. I told him that I had no idea who the defendant was. And I thought he might have the wrong person. I also asked him what the case was about and he told me that legally he could not disclose that information over the phone. He then assured me that the matter would be looked at and corrected and I should not worry about coming to the next court date. That was 6 months ago.
Well imagine my surprise when I got yet another subpoena last month. This time It stated in bold letters. YOU ARE COMMANDED to appear and give testimony in the above-entitled action before the court as a witness in a criminal action against the above named defendant.
Fine! I thought. I will show up and hopefully that stupid attorney will remember our little phone call. And I hope it throws the whole case a couple more months back!!! I was tired of getting the stupid letter!
Well I was so glad I did go. It was really entertaining for a simple girl like me. This is how the morning went.
First I had to be there at 7:30 am! Thankfully Teds mom came over and stayed with the kids. I had to go downtown which takes a good 45minutes. As I walked up to the counter I noticed 6 other men standing in the hall way. I got to the window and noticed that the district attorney office wasn't open yet it didn't open until 8:00. So I sat in one of the chairs lined up along the hall way. I had already noticed that some of the men standing there were police officers. They were in their full uniforms. As I sat and listened to the conversations between them I found out what this particular case was all about.
Officer #1. "I can't wait until this case gets rolling"
Officer #2. " Ya I am here because I was first on the scene and removed the duct tape off the mans face. My finger print was the only print on the tape"
Officer #1. "I was taking pictures of the scene, that's why I am here"
Officer #3. "Ya lets hope this @#$*&^ gets the life sentence he deserves"
I am thinking whoa this is getting good.
As the officers begin to retell the crime as they remember it I learned that this crime took place 3 years ago. The defendant broke into a home. Stabbed the homeowner several times and then bound him with duct tape. Then the wife came home. She was beaten and also bound with duct tape. Then they were robbed and the defendant stole their car. By now the crowd waiting was getting bigger and this dumb old lady distracted me by asking me where the restroom was. By the time my attention was back to the officers the door was opening to the "witness check-in". Dang it! I wanted to hear more. Like did the couple die? How long did it take to track down the said criminal? Then I remembered...I AM SUPPOSED TO TESTIFY!!! I don't know a thing about this case! I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I freaked just a little. But I was glad that I would be going home very shortly once they found out that I am not the person they were wanting to testify. The room filled with lots of people I would say around 30. Then a man came out in a suit. And yelled over the crowd. "Is Chandra here?" I couldn't believe he had just zeroed me out. "Yes I am here". "Very good" he says. "Is officer Bailey here?" "Yes I am here". As the man in the suit motioned to me and officer Bailey, "will you two please follow me". I followed to a area separated from the crowd. Just as the officer and I were about to take our seats the man in the suit turns to me and says, "OK. You did the blood work. Is that correct?" I started to giggle then the officer started to laugh and that brought me to full out laughter. The man in the suit didn't think it was very funny. Seeing that this wasn't the time to laugh I said, "I think you have the wrong Chandra" The officer said "Yes, she is not Chandra Christiansen". I said, "Yes I am" The man in the suit was getting annoyed and asked me. "Do you work in the crime lab?" again more giggles. "No. But I watch CSI alot." The officer thought this was really funny. I liked this cop. "Let me see your subpoena" the now grouchy suit grabbed it from me and looked it over carefully. He then gave a glance at a woman standing close by and she came over and took my letter and also looked it over. They mumbled under their breath but I understood exactly what was being said. I think he the suit (attorney) was telling his stupid Secretary that she had gotten the wrong person. She said. "this is not good for the case. We need that witness on the blood work." Then she looked at me and said. "I am sorry there IS a Chandra Christiansen who works at the crime lab but her name is spelled SON not SEN. I am sorry for the inconvenience."
Well my work is done! I was still smiling as I leaned to the officer and told him that I had called the attorney and notified him of the mix up months ago. He smiled back at me and I left.
I felt sorta bad for all those people who probably have to come back because the little show I had just done to get a message across. But it really was fun!
I was supposed to take my stamped subpoena across the street to another building where I would receive a witness fee check in 30 days. But I didn't. It was a check for a whopping $18.50.

6 comments:

Debbi said...

seriously, one of the best stories ever, I will be telling and re-telling this story for a while!

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOSH! This is such a crazy story! It's like you're in an episode of CSI... was that this morning? We saw you driving into the neighborhood as we were leaving. Hilarious.

MakingChanges said...

Awesome story. First of all, I can't believe that there is another Chandra Christiansen (okay, spelled a little different), but still! Second of all, there are some really dumb people in law. For how smart they are supposed to be, they sure are dumb!

The Perry Family said...

That is wild and hilarious!! I would have been mad at first for all the trouble that you had went through and happy that you learned some cool, yet unnerving, info about something that happened! CSI---classic! :)

Anonymous said...

That is CRAZY!! I'm glad that you gave all the details because that is definitely a story worth telling. Geez, you get all the fun. Ps, I love the pix of your kids. Holy tolito, you have some cuties!!
Manda

Kristen said...

This story is hilarious, Chandra! We have received several forwarded emails about actual things said in a courtroom. People really do lack common sense! Too funny!