Keegan Davis is here and OURS!!!

Thursday morning 7:00 a.m. Ted and I arrived at Pioneer Valley hospital. We went into Jasmines room where she was "sleeping" I think she was pretending so she wouldn't need to talk to us. The nurse gave me the lovely blue slippers, blue hair net and what seemed like white tissue paper overalls to change into. Ted took a funny picture of me all dressed up. (that picture won't be on my blog.) Ha, ha.
After Jasmine was preped I was taken in. The c-section was pretty cool. I held Jasmines hand and said a couple words of encouragement but I felt like a total ass. sorry, thats the truth. Once Keegan was out the nurse said I could go over and see him. But that didn't last long. They quickly noticed he was not breathing well. She said we will need to take him right now and you can't come. Ted didn't even get to see him.
The rest of the day was just weird. Jasmine never really talked with us. She's just really quiet. I tried talking about things we enjoyed and talked about Daesha. Anything to get her to open up. She never really did. The only things I learned about her where things she said to me when Ted was out of the room. Ted hardly said 5 words in the two days we were with her.
I remember Ted saying that his brain was exhausted when we adopted Daesha. I never felt that way. But boy do I feel that way this time! We both are so mentally drained by the end of the day it is really hard to explain. Just trying to get close to some one or just trying to show her that we truely care about her well being and in return she wasn't willing to share. It was completly impossible and frustrating.
The next day wasn't better. Our caseworker called and said Jasmine wanted to talk to us. She asked if we wanted her there with us. I said no I think we will be ok. We got there around 10:15. We were to sign the papers at 12:30. She had taken a pain med. which pushes the signing time to 2:30.(she can't be on any pain meds when she signs) She proceeded to tell us about her bills not being paid and was trying to find were she was going to find the money. I knew exactly were this was going and I quickly changed the subject and started to tell her how Keegan was doing today. She never brought it up again. We could get in a serious legal problem if we EVER gave her money because it could look like a bribe.
A few minutes later Keegans Dr. came in to update Jasmine on Keegan. After the Dr left she began to cry. Talk about feeling uncomfortable! I gave her a tissue and tried to reasure her he was going to be ok and ..WHAT DO YOU DO???? Ted and I looked at each other like total idiots. We were about to leave the room and she asked us to take her to see Keegan. This is the first that she has wanted to see him. She said that she did not want to hold him. Which I thought was sad. So we took her to the nursury. I said we will leave you here and go back to your room. By the time Ted and I made it back to her room and sat down she was back. The feeling was not good. Ted and I left and really felt like this might be making a turn for the worse. I called our caseworker and told her about our morning. she was not happy about her asking for money and reassured us that we had done everything right. We went back to the hospital at 2:00. We waited in the waiting room for 3 hours while she signed. We had no idea what was going on. we both thought that she was changing her mind. Once the caseworkers came out they told us she was upset with the Dr for taking the baby early and she felt like she was giving us something bad that she could have prevented. The case workers did their job and eased her worries. we quickly signed and then I asked if she wanted to see us again or not. I really didn't want to see her again, but I felt if she needed that then ok. Then she surprised us all and walked into the waiting room! We went for a walk outside for 2 1/2 hours. I couldn't even tell you what we talked about. Nothing really. We told her that we were truely grateful for what she had been through and that we were honored to take care of Keegan. We hugged and that was it. I was so glad to get that over with. I know I sound heartless and maybe I am but it was so hard to feel at ease around her I just wanted to go home.
So the next chapter continues... Keegan will be in the oxygen box for another 3 days. If he doesn't improve he will be transfered to Primary Childrens ICU. We haven't even been able to hold him. It's killng me!! Once he is off the oxygen and his lungs are fully developed they can begin feeding him with a bottle. Then hopefully we can bring him home. Still not sure when that will be. Ok so thats whats going on and hopefully this sunday we can relax and recoup from the longest weekend we have ever had.