The Adoption Nonsense..

Our attempt to adopt our son's sibling has been a lot of work. Luckily we have some completely amazing friends and family around to help us out. I am totally feeling the love as my closest friend Kim came up with this super idea! She sent these bottles along with this poem to family and friends that are dear and close to us.

I have a friend who is very dear to me
She is wanting to have baby number 3.

For one, a wish that runs so deep
Her child-- a home to safely keep
Another's wish so true & bold
A child to love & teach & hold.

The story is special and this one must be
It’s Keegan’s full sibling
So happy are we!!!!

Ted and Chandra’s baby is on the way
He will be born on Pioneer Day.

With such short notice
and recent unemployment
This baby could be
Another families installment!

This baby bottle is empty
But you can “change” that too
By placing your well wishes
In hopes that heaven will help
this dream come true!

Thank you!
Kim Adams

I just want to give many, many hugs to everyone. Those who donated time, possessions, money, and prayers to our family. I love you all sooo much. Your kindness makes me want to be a better person.
Through the last couple weeks I have been asked lots a questions about the fees and what we needed. Everyone has been careful not to ask personal questions about finances and such. But I feel that it is important to bring some light to the subject. Even if that means sharing our personal financial situation.
I will use our Daughter's adoption fees. Since she was our cheepest. Keep in mind this was 5 years ago and before the tax credit was raised last year. Which I believe some agencies raised there fees after the change. (tax credit now is 10,000. When we got Daesha it was 5,000)

Total amount to adoption agency = $11,500
This is the breakdown of those cost's..
**Birth Mother's Travel and Living Expenses = $3,500
(ours came to Utah from Philidelphia and stayed in Utah for 1 month)
Agency Fee = $ 6,000
This includes: all overhead and business related costs such as birthparent support and counseling including a caseworker who is the birthmothers support through the entire process. She is responsible for entertainment, transpertation to Dr's appointments, she is there for the entire delivery no matter how many hours it may be, grief counceling, and a probably more than I have knowledge in. Also included in the agency fees are legal documents by the state to terminate birthparent rights, interstate compact requirements (ICPC)**

Post Delivery assistance =$2,000
This is given to the birthmother upon leaving for home.

Hospital and OB bills. The hospital cut the bill 50% off if we payed in full the day we took our baby home. So we did that, and ended up paying $8,908.63.

Attorney Fees = $907

Post Placement fee or home study = 300.00

So our grand total was..... $21,615.63
If your curious what Keegan cost.. he was $25,768.95. His medical was a bit more because he was c-section and had medical complications.

I hate seeing the numbers because I think it is way too much. And coming up with that kind of money is hard. But really, the money doesn't even matter when it comes to my daughter and son. I could never put a price on them today. Even my terrible 2 year old. He's priceless.
Ted and I were told at the beginning that this baby is starting at 25,000 if no medical complications occured. Which looking at what we have payed in the past is fair. We said we would not be able to do that amount. But that we still wanted to try. They agreed to wait and see what we could come up with. So here we are...
We have money in an emergency account that holds a 2 month mortgage payment. It had 6months worth when we moved into this house but as you know we had to use some of that when Ted lost his job. We are not willing to dip into that money for the adoption. It is strickly used for mortgage payments only. And sadly we had a crappy savings account that was all used up for food and other bills while Ted was not working. So basically we have zero money to consider "buying" this baby. 2 months ago when I first heard of this baby Ted and I said, "there is just no way we could do it right now". But as the days went by I kept thinking about this baby. And I got the feeling that we had to try. I talked with Ted about it one night and he said he had been feeling the same way. That's when we realized we had to kick it to high gear!!!! And try our hardeset to get this baby. It has not been easy. We were turned down by the bank for a loan. Twice.
If this alone wasn't enough to raise my stress level to an all time high. Ted received a letter from an attorney. We are getting sued for an accident Ted was in last August. Insurance is working out the system right now. But really? When is it enough? Can I say "I give" yet?
Then we had a multi-family yard/bake sale. Our Ward is amazing! They allowed us to announce in church our story and our plans. We did some major advertising and had a HUGE yard sale. With the money bottles Kim did and the yard sale we are sitting at 4,479.35 today. The agency wanted us to call Saturday night to let them know what we had. So we did. I told them the amount and that I had a credit card that I was willing to use (Ted doesn't like this idea) it has a 3,000 limit. Can you believe they are making us wait even longer!!!! They will get back with us as soon as they have decided what to do.
Seriously I can't wait until this month is over!!! It has been the most stressful month ever!!!
But, I can still smile when I think of all those who love us and made yesterday such a success. Here are some pictures from the yard sale.

Daesha and Keegan sold suckers and lemonade. Daesha stayed at her post all day. She did a great job! Keegan ate raw hot dogs, ( he wont eat them cooked) Coke, and suckers all day.

We were up till 2 am setting everything up. This is the picture I took as soon as the sun was up. We advertised that we would start at 8. People were outside at 6. And started knocking at my door at 7. Crazy Yard Sale FREEKS!!! LOL

Here is the picture I took once the yard sale was over. It doesn't even look like much is gone!!!!!